When we think of insecurity we generally think of someone that is shy, stand-offish or having little to no self-esteem. These things are true. However, there is a special type of insecurity that has been able to mask itself as confidence right before our very eyes. It's that of what I call "Over Projection." To project means to throw, cast or impel forward or onward. So to over project (as I'm referring to it) would mean to go beyond "normal or reasonable" boundaries to prove a point.
During my world travels to more than 5 continents I have had the opportunity to experience several types of personalities. The most intriguing one has always been that of people who over project. What makes them interesting and virtually undetectable is that they come off to others as people who have an extreme amount of confidence in themselves when in fact it's the contrary. Understand something. Usually the people that have the least amount (of money, resources, ability, etc) are the ones that feel the desperate need or desire to portray to the world that they have the most when in fact they don't.
I challenge you to think about the world's richest people and find an article or video where they are throwing money in the air or telling the world how much money they have. I can bet you won't be able to find that. Why? Because people that have money are "accustomed" to having money (talent, beauty, etc) so they never feel a deficiency or need to overcompensate for a lack of it through over projection. You'll find that most of them are social recluses and do their best to dress down and drive in modest cars. The people that have it try not to show it!
Then you have the other side of the game. The over projector. This person doesn't own his or her own home, doesn't really handle responsibilities and may or may not have gainful employment. But this person goes through hell or high water to keep "the perception" that they have money. They lease a top of the line car and keep on the finest linens that money can buy. Ask yourself, if you don't have a home or own a car, what the fuck do you look like flossing these things that you can barely afford?
This behavior shows a deficiency in you that you feel that you as a person or your persona is not enough to garner the attention that you desire from others. To people that are "up on game" you look pathetic. To people who may not know what's going on you may look cool. But what eventually happens is there comes a moment where you will be exposed. Fronting can only get you so far. Just be yourself. True confidence is working with what you have and not putting yourself in a physical, financial or mental bind just to gain public adulation.
Never forget that the over glorification (or over projection) of a lifestyle denotes falsehood or a personal deficiency. If something is true it speaks for itself. You don't have to speak for it. Socially, we see this behavior in play every day. We used to have a saying growing up in Detroit. "The loudest one is the weakest one so steal on him first because he's really scared and does not want to fight." Of course there are exceptions to this rule but it's usually about 95 percent accurate. We were always worried about the quiet guy standing in the corner with his hand in his pocket!
Think about it. People that talk about what they're going to do, ask people to hold their coat or earrings before a scuffle are people that are afraid. Just the same as a woman that runs around saying, "I'm a bad bitch." She really has a confidence or self esteem issue and she's seeking acceptance from others as well as trying to re-assure herself that she is worthy. A beautiful woman doesn't have to announce on a poster or car sticker that she is beautiful or that she is a banging female does she? She just IS through her EXISTENCE and BEING. Understanding word etymology you know that bad means evil and bitch is a female dog. So knowing that words have power, what good are you doing yourself by saying you are an evil female dog? Of course I understand what they are implying but the universe is impartial and only registers that which you say NOT what you mean.
The days of fake it till you make it are no longer beneficial to anyone. Back in the day you could somewhat get by temporarily with that but you don't stand a chance with that now. The internet has made the world smaller. Finding out information about who you really are and your track record is now just a click away. You can damage your life through over projection. I've seen people lose relationships, homes, cars and their lives all because they wanted to front and be something that they weren't. It's cool if you can't do something or if you aren't where you want to be. There is no shame in that because we've all been there. If people can't deal with you on the strength of who you are then move on. Better things await you as long as you are willing to develop yourself and stand on your own square.
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This article is written by Cochise Tarak-Saa courtesy of Urban Kryptonite Films (2015)
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